The Art of Negotiation

Allright, I get it.
Neither of you are completely convinced.
Don't worry, there are options people.
Let's not be afraid to talk this out.

A: I will concede that for the prudish and money conscious people out there (ahem), the idea of going to a salon or spa to get a Brazilian wax and have a woman (or man, if you like) carefully scrutinizing your nether regions in order to get your vajazzle design "just right" might seem a bit intrusive and quite expensive.
Not to fret!
They sell do-it-yourself kits:
"Clitter!" - for those sparkly vaginas on a budget, you see.
Now I know what you're saying. "Crystal, that still doesn't solve the glitter spreading everywhere. Glitter is like the herpes of the craft world!"
That  may be. But seriously, who can argue with testimonials that shout from the rooftops, "Thanks Clitter for turning my labia into a YAYbia!" or "Clitter turned my yeast infection into a jewel collection!" 
(I'm not particularly concerned with the caution labels that say: "WARNING: Using Clitter while pregnant may result in sparkle babies." Who wouldn't love a baby that sparkles?! It would be like having tiny little baby vampires running around and sparkling in the sunlight. Cute!)



B. I know you might still have reservations about going "completely bare with a flair", or perhaps your Guy is a bit protective and hesitant to have anyone "working" on you down there.
Understandable.
Which is why I plan on encouraging him to come along!
"Guy," I would say, "I think you need to add some bling bling to your ding ding"...or dong dong - as the case may be.
(I don't know. How would I know? As a writer, you should know I strive for complete accuracy.)
Anyway, it's called Penazzling.

Obviously, I really struggled to find a good example of Penazzling. But you get the idea.
The one picture I did find showed a guy throwing what looked to be like a gang sign over his junk in an effort to block it out, which only emphasized the angry red bumps that were each and every hair follicle screaming, and likely burning, in angry protest. I would like to argue that, likely, he attempted to do it himself as no professional could possible be the cause of such angry red skin.
If necessary, though, to ensure your cooperation, I'll even talk to the salon and see if they can throw in a t-shirt for you.

C. Still not convinced? I will admit I never took into account that you're a European man at heart.
Perhaps you're the type of guy who's horrified to find his woman looking like a hairless chihuahua down there. (I know French women have hairy armpits, but what about the British ladies? I never thought to ask.)

So you don't like the idea of feeling like a child molester in the bedroom.
I get it.
But let's be honest. I am adaptable and over-the-moon creative, and I have a solution for that, too...
I know Jenny is secretly a hippie at-heart. (Has she confessed that to you yet? It took her three years before she'd admit it to me.) And perhaps I need to reconsider my approach.
So you both want to return to a "natural" state of being. I can totally dig that, too.
I hug trees every chance I get.
See?

Negotiation is, after all, about being willing to meet other people's needs without losing sight of your own goals. Luckily, I'm equally willing to embrace your more down-to-earth approach to style without compromising my original vision...

Head band is optional, of course.