I just had to share this with you, as often, I feel you think of me as mildly retarded for some of the things that I do.
This PROVES that:
A. I am not mentally retarded OR
B. That America is filled with retards like me.
I'm not sure that the second option is very comforting, but it's better than the first option not being true.
The following is taken from my favorite blogspot blogger, written by Jana Matthews.
AKA "The Meanest Mom" (Click on link below to go to her original post)
The Walk of Shame
"Last week, we checked out 12 books at the library, which is 12 more than we should have checked out.
I know better. Over the past six months, 2 DVDS and a Babysitter's Club novel haven't made it out of our house alive. After our last mishap, I swore that I would never step foot in the public library again.
But then school let out for the summer and my morals fell by the wayside.
"My name should be up there," I told my brood while we waited in line at the circulation desk. I pointed to a gold plaque listing the names of the library's biggest donors.
Kellen was carrying the corpse of our latest victim in a plastic shopping bag. Exactly what happened to the book is certain; by the time I found him, its body was barely recognizable.
"Cameron dropped it into bathtub!" my daughter screeched.
"I saw him throw it in!" added Cortlen.
Clearly several people witnessed the assault, yet it didn't occur to anyone to try to do anything about it.
"What could we have done?" Cortlen asked incredulously as he covered his hands with his mouth to stifle the grin.
"You could fish the book out of the water," I suggested.
[insert blank stare]
While at least one of my kids would like me to believe that he isn't playing with a full deck, the second witness was smart enough, however, to realize that time was of an essence. She knew that the book wasn't going to last long before it turned into a pulpy mush. That's why she screamed at the top of their lungs for the third to join them.
I found everyone in the bathroom, giggling hysterically.
"You think that's funny?" I asked.
Twenty-four hours later, I had to make the walk of shame. I timed my library visit so that it would coincide with the lunch break of the Children's Librarian.
"Ooooooooh!" The librarian on duty almost fainted when she saw the book. She spent the next few minutes looking like she was mourning the loss of a close relative.
It was almost too much to take.
"What do I owe you today?" I asked, pulling out my wallet. Most libraries let you buy the exact same book on Amazon and pay a small replacement processing fee. This library makes you give them half of your liver.
The librarian was willing to give me a number (which wasn't as bad as I thought), but only after she showed the deceased to all of her co-workers.
All I needed was a scarlet "A" pinned to my breast.
The only consolation in all this was that while the librarian was showing off my latest example of bad parenting, my toddler was using his fingers to make irrigation holes in a large potted plant in the lobby. Usually I would have grabbed him, but for some reason, I didn't have a lot of motivation. By the time the librarian and I were finished settling up, the ruined book was put in perspective." ~ Jana Matthews
I know better. Over the past six months, 2 DVDS and a Babysitter's Club novel haven't made it out of our house alive. After our last mishap, I swore that I would never step foot in the public library again.
But then school let out for the summer and my morals fell by the wayside.
"My name should be up there," I told my brood while we waited in line at the circulation desk. I pointed to a gold plaque listing the names of the library's biggest donors.
Kellen was carrying the corpse of our latest victim in a plastic shopping bag. Exactly what happened to the book is certain; by the time I found him, its body was barely recognizable.
"Cameron dropped it into bathtub!" my daughter screeched.
"I saw him throw it in!" added Cortlen.
Clearly several people witnessed the assault, yet it didn't occur to anyone to try to do anything about it.
"What could we have done?" Cortlen asked incredulously as he covered his hands with his mouth to stifle the grin.
"You could fish the book out of the water," I suggested.
[insert blank stare]
While at least one of my kids would like me to believe that he isn't playing with a full deck, the second witness was smart enough, however, to realize that time was of an essence. She knew that the book wasn't going to last long before it turned into a pulpy mush. That's why she screamed at the top of their lungs for the third to join them.
I found everyone in the bathroom, giggling hysterically.
"You think that's funny?" I asked.
Twenty-four hours later, I had to make the walk of shame. I timed my library visit so that it would coincide with the lunch break of the Children's Librarian.
"Ooooooooh!" The librarian on duty almost fainted when she saw the book. She spent the next few minutes looking like she was mourning the loss of a close relative.
It was almost too much to take.
"What do I owe you today?" I asked, pulling out my wallet. Most libraries let you buy the exact same book on Amazon and pay a small replacement processing fee. This library makes you give them half of your liver.
The librarian was willing to give me a number (which wasn't as bad as I thought), but only after she showed the deceased to all of her co-workers.
All I needed was a scarlet "A" pinned to my breast.
The only consolation in all this was that while the librarian was showing off my latest example of bad parenting, my toddler was using his fingers to make irrigation holes in a large potted plant in the lobby. Usually I would have grabbed him, but for some reason, I didn't have a lot of motivation. By the time the librarian and I were finished settling up, the ruined book was put in perspective." ~ Jana Matthews
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